Unlearn Your Pain – Based on the Teachings of Dr. John E. Sarno

Resilience Series Part 3

In the previous blog, we discussed strategies to manage our emotional reactivity. Although similar, regulating emotions isn’t quite the same as managing how we react emotionally. Whereas managing emotional reactivity works like a light switch that can dim the frequency and intensity of our emotional reactions, regulating emotions, on the other hand, involves altering our emotional responses to situations. We might consider regulating emotions as our ability to adjust our own emotional states. Sometimes we do this by increasing our positive emotions, whereas other situations are better handled by decreasing our negative emotions. How...

Resilience Series Part 2

The ups and downs of life are associated with a rainbow variety of emotions; some are dark, and some are light. The intensity of these emotions can vary as well. Some of us have dense and opaque emotions when our emotional reactions are high. This increased emotional reactivity can tint everything the same shade or reduce our ability to see beyond these emotions, which may further reduce our ability to cope with adversities. The good news is that we can use a few strategies to keep our emotional reactivity in check, such as grounding ourselves, cultivating somatic skills, and engaging in some mindful physical exercises.

Resilience Series Part 1

Life is full of good moments, but it isn’t always a smooth ride. There are many ups and downs, such as love and loss, success and struggle, happiness and heartbreak, and joy and trauma. Furthermore, none of us have a road map or a chapter index for our life journeys. Through the next 5 blogs, I will offer a step-by-step science-based approach to help you boost your resilience.

How Does Stress Turn Into Anxiety and What To Do About It

When you know how to calm down the initial stress response, you are able to refocus and concentrate and feel less threatened by your own emotions and your own previously automatic reactions to things. This then allows you to gain confidence to deal with a variety of situations. This is called resilience.

My Journey Through Chronic Pain: A Personal and Professional Story of Healing

Physical pain in the body that is produced by our brain is identical, whether there is an actual structural injury in the body or whether the brain mistakenly believes there is a structural injury in the body. To offer an analogy, a smoke alarm that sounds because it is broken makes the exact loud and very real noise as a smoke alarm that sounds because there is smoke from an actual fire. 

ADHD or Trauma?

Over the last few decades, many children and adolescents have been receiving a diagnosis of ADHD at alarming rates. ADHD, which is typically understood as a brain or nervous system disorder which tends to be genetic in nature, is often identified when a child shows symptoms of inattention, distractibility, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. What unfortunately often gets missed with a diagnosis of ADHD, however, is the possibility that traumatic events may be the source of these symptoms.

Bagruyot Testing Accommodations for Olim

The primary focus here will be on accommodations for the Israeli Bagruyot. Providing accommodations at the Elementary school level is usually at the discretion of the school based upon psycho-educational testing. The Elementary school is not obligated in any way to provide the recommended accommodations and likewise can decide to allow them without a specific recommendation. There is no regulatory body regarding testing accommodations at the Elementary level.

Taking a U Turn From Thought: A Mindful Pathway Out of Trance

“Who is your enemy?” said the Buddha. “Mind is your enemy. Not one can harm you more than a mind untrained. Who is your friend? No one can assist you and care for you better than your mind well-trained. Not even the most loving mother or father.”

My Unorthodox life: Exploring Differences of Opinion in Couplehood

When I work with couples through dealing with differences, whether it be religious or any other practice or want, I help the couple explore their deeper feelings around their differences of opinion and differences of practice. Couples deal with all kinds of differences. Some examples are issues around health and fitness, what kinds of food enters the home, what kinds of media are allowed, how to use finances, what dress represents members of the home, places to hang out and where not to go, how much time to spend together, what to do with the time they spend together, where to go on vacation, to name but a few.

New Job Jitters

When beginning a new job if you are constantly worried about failing and feeling like you need to prove yourself at every turn that can cause significant stress which will most likely hinder performance.  Rather than engendering positive relationships and being open to learning, the fear of someone discovering shortcomings will be so pervasive that it will be very difficult to acclimate to the new position effectively.  On the other hand, a growth mindset which encourages you to learn from others, think about mistakes as essential to the process of learning and acclimating and being open to a new way of doing things will lead you to have more joy and energy, feel less anxious,  and make a good impression on your colleagues.

The Flip Side of Stress

Research has shown that when we are able to regulate our emotions in a stressful situation we are able to not only feel calmer but to also become more collaborative, creative and thrive.

Shining Light on Feelings 

When we are able to just be with whatever we are feeling and experiencing, without judgement or an agenda we bring light

On Today's Menu: Corona Sandwich

I am overwhelmed with guilt as I can’t be with my parents on a daily basis to help them navigate this challenging time in their lives. At the same time, I also feel guilty that I can’t help my kids while they struggle in raising their children and I can’t be there to help babysit or just spend time with them. I miss my grandchildren and virtual visits just aren’t doing it for me or them anymore.”

How to Connect With Your Partner in the Pandemic and Beyond

Consider this dream: you and your partner experience the pandemic with your marriage intact and your family even closer and more connected than ever. You can practice a more loving way of relating, with more kindness and giving. This blog offers practical tips for becoming a great communicator, being a generous listener, and adding gratitude to your relationship.

The CYCLE: The Key to Rebuilding Your Marriage

Something was comin' there way and it was no good... Shira and David find themselves in a vicious cycle that they are both trapped in for years. They fall back to their default coping styles which continue failing them. In fact, we all fall back to these coping styles...

Can You FIX her?

The short answer? You cannot "fix" your wife. But you don't need to. You need something else a whole lot better...

Re-Frame Rejection so You Can Successfully Move Forward in Relationships

I have been rejected more times than I can count. By friends, boys, jobs, my kids, you name it… One of my most memorable rejections happened while in 6th grade. My English teacher encouraged us to write a journal, which I kept "hidden" in my desk. In it, I wrote all about a crush I had on a boy named Joey, a fellow classmate. I forgot that in the morning we sat at one desk and in the afternoon another. A fellow classmate found my journal and proceeded to read that very entry aloud to the entire class during recess.

40 Years of Research: Why Solving Your Marital Disputes is Not the Solution

Many couples think that they just need to be able to find an agreement, a compromise, a solution to their disagreements. And that couples' therapy is about solving their disagreements. In fact, for many years this is how couples' therapists approached therapy as well. Unfortunately, this approach failed and statistically, their success rates were very low. But the field of couples therapy research has changed dramatically. In the last 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Leslie Greenberg, and Dr. Sue Johnson, to name a few major names have made real breakthroughs, having studied many thousands of couples, watching them closely in action, on live cameras, video, behind one-way glasses and otherwise. One of Gottman's findings is that about 70% of our disagreements as couples, never get solved! And this is true not only for failing couples but for the very successful couples as well! So, if solving problems is not what leads to success, what does? The answer is that as a therapist, I can help them reach such an emotional bond that makes the issue of solving problems redundant, a non-issue. Once they have this bond, they will not necessarily need me to solve their problems. Find out more inside.

Feeling Helpless? Here Are 3 Corona (or Anytime) Coping Skills

It can happen at any time or place. But especially now, with the impact of COVID-19 still being felt here in Israel even as things are finally opening up, it's an expected emotion to be feeling. Helplessness. And we are all in it together. Including your therapist. What can you do when you feel like this? Here are 3 powerful skills I know of.