When Food Becomes a Battleground: Parenting a Teen with Binge Eating Disorder

Parenting a teen who struggles with binge eating is often an excruciating, lonely experience. Unlike Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia, often characterized by restriction, purging, and weight loss, Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is less frequently recognized as a serious eating disorder. It is often normalized or dismissed as a simple fondness for food or a lack of self-control. BED is in fact a hugely distressing experience for both the individual suffering from it and their loved ones.

The shame your teen feels about their body, often internalized from years of stigma, teasing, or cultural messaging, can turn inward into self-loathing, withdrawal, self-harm, or even suicidal ideation. As a parent, you might feel terrified, desperate to protect them from the pain they carry and from a world that often equates thinness with worth. You may also feel your own grief, helplessness, or even anger, perhaps resentment toward the eating disorder itself, or frustration that your love and concern haven’t been enough to "fix it". These feelings are real, and they deserve space.

Binge Eating Disorder is not a moral failing or a lack of willpower. It is a recognized psychiatric illness, listed in the DSM-5, characterized by recurring episodes of eating large quantities of food, a sense of loss of control, and intense emotional distress afterward. BED often co-occurs with depression, anxiety, and trauma histories, and may also lead to - or coexist with - higher-weight or larger-bodied individuals. Importantly, not every person with a higher weight or bigger body has BED, and not every person with BED has a higher weight or bigger body, but when they overlap, the stigma is often compounded.

It is additionally important to note that in cases where the patient’s weight is within a healthy range, or is low, treatment is often delayed or overlooked by both families and clinicians, creating further confusion around how to support the teen effectively.

Regularly, parents of teens caught in the painful cycle of BED can find themselves questioning the severity of their child’s struggles, without the information or guidance needed to understand what’s happening, leaving them unsure how to take appropriate steps to initiate treatment. Parents may feel ashamed of their child’s relationship to food, they may dismiss the instinctual concerns they feel and gaslight themselves or their child. They may genuinely not know how serious BED is and misperceive what they are witnessing as poor self-control, greediness, moodiness or something perfectly normal and even healthy.

A recent client shared her growing distress about her teen daughter’s relationship with food and body image; concerns that had built slowly over several years until she reached out for help. As her therapist (and also an eating disorder specialist), I was able to provide some insight. Since there isn’t a comprehensive eating disorder resource in English in Israel that outlines clinical considerations and support for parents, I was inspired to write this article: part psycho-educational and part practical tips and tools for parents and care-givers of adolescents experiencing Binge Eating Disorder.

If you’re reading this, it’s likely because someone you love — your child — is struggling with something that is breaking your heart. The confusing nature of this illness can make you feel helpless, scared, and overwhelmed. You may ask yourself: What did I miss? What can I do? Will they ever get better?

This article is for you: the parent walking through the storm. You deserve validation, information, and support as you care for your child and your family.

Clinical Insight

Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is not a choice; it springs from deep emotional distress, not food. It is a serious mental-health condition that significantly affects a teenager’s emotional, physical, and social well-being. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, approximately 2.8% of adolescents and adults experience BED, making it the most common eating disorder. It carries high levels of shame, secrecy, and serious medical risks such as hormonal imbalance, digestive issues, and cardiovascular challenges.

Honoring Your Journey as a Parent

Your emotions are valid. You may feel anger, guilt, grief, or exhaustion. You might tiptoe through conversations, fearful that your next word could make things worse. You could feel powerless watching your child struggle.

That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human, and your love runs deep. You’re confronting a crisis that isn’t your fault. Eating disorders are biopsychosocial; that is, influenced by genetics, brain chemistry, personal traits, trauma, and cultural pressures. Learning to accept what’s outside your control can be painful, but it’s the first step toward sustainable, compassionate support.

What You Can and Can’t Control

How to Interact with Your Teen

Supporting Siblings

Siblings may feel overlooked, confused, or resentful as family focus shifts. If possible: spend one-on-one time, offer age-appropriate honesty about what’s happening, and acknowledge their feelings. Acknowledge their mixed emotions and consider peer support groups if helpful.

Taking Care of Yourself

Is My Teen Getting the Right Help? Levels of Care

When to be Calm and When to Act

You Are Not Powerless

BED is not a lack of willpower; it’s a compulsive disorder rooted in deep need. The urge to binge can feel overwhelming, and eating may serve to soothe overwhelming emotions. Acknowledging this duality—its comfort and damage—can feel validating for your teen. Relapse is common, and navigating it with compassion rather than blame helps them continue forward.

You Are Never Alone

If you’re worried, trust your instincts. Seek guidance from clinicians or trusted supports, act on your concerns, and know that recovery is possible. Your consistent presence, love, boundaries, and hope, provide more healing than you may realize. You are performing an extraordinary act of courage and compassion.

And remember: You are not alone. Neither is your child.

Clinical Tools & Resources

Next Steps Based on Severity

Helpful Questions for Parents

Case Studies

Sarah, age 16, secretly binge ate for two years before her mother discovered the behavior. Sarah expressed intense self-hatred and suicidal thoughts. Treatment at an adolescent-focused eating disorder clinic included CBT-E and parent coaching. Over time, Sarah’s family prioritized emotional well-being over weight, and she regained a sense of identity. “Staying connected, not controlling, is what helped her heal,” her mother reflected.

Jacob, 17, faced long-term binge eating, bullying, and anxiety. With support from a trauma-informed therapist and DBT-based strategies, he began to regulate his emotions and reduce isolation. While bingeing occasionally continues, he has formed friendships, found support, and begun rebuilding his life. “He may still struggle,” his father shared, “but he’s living again.”

Resources for Parents & Teens Facing BED

Israel-Based Resources

Parent Workbook: Supporting Your Teen Through Binge Eating Disorder (or other EDs)

Honoring Your Experience

As a parent of a teen with an eating disorder, you're navigating fear, uncertainty, and love in deep and complex ways. Acknowledging your emotional experience is vital. You are not failing; you are doing something incredibly difficult with courage.
Journal Prompt: What emotions come up most often for you in this journey? Where do you feel them in your body? If they had a voice, what would they be saying?

Creating Connection

Your presence, more than your words or actions, is what helps your child feel safe. Focus on staying connected through the storm.
Journal Prompt: How can you offer emotional safety to your child this week without trying to fix or change them?

Letting Go of Control

There are things you can influence, but recovery ultimately belongs to your teen. Learning where to let go is a powerful act of love and trust.
Journal Prompt: Where in your child's recovery are you trying to take control? How might it feel to step back in that area?

Taking Care of You

Your nervous system matters too. This journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Tending to your own health is not selfish, it's necessary.
Journal Prompt: What's one small thing you can do this week that is just for you?

Supporting Siblings

Siblings need their own space to feel seen, heard, and supported. Protecting their childhood is part of your caregiving.
Journal Prompt: How can you offer quality time or meaningful connection to your other children this week?

Hope and Resilience

Recovery is not linear. Even when progress feels invisible, your steady presence builds the scaffolding for healing. You are not powerless.
Journal Prompt: What gives you hope today? Write a message to either a Higher Power of your choice, or your future self in which you express your feelings, ask for help in the form of intuitive thoughts or feelings, reflect on what has happened so far, or just describe what is currently going on for you.