Fundamentals of Trauma Recovery, Part 5

If you feel ashamed in relation to any part of your trauma, you deserve to connect with others and experience the relief that comes with dissipating shame.

Re-Frame Rejection so You Can Successfully Move Forward in Relationships

I have been rejected more times than I can count. By friends, boys, jobs, my kids, you name it… One of my most memorable rejections happened while in 6th grade. My English teacher encouraged us to write a journal, which I kept "hidden" in my desk. In it, I wrote all about a crush I had on a boy named Joey, a fellow classmate. I forgot that in the morning we sat at one desk and in the afternoon another. A fellow classmate found my journal and proceeded to read that very entry aloud to the entire class during recess.

Challenges of Returning Reserve Soldiers

“Wow, so great you’re home, Aharon, now everything can go back to normal!” This sentence, and variations of it, have been said to me and countless other reserve soldiers over the last few months. Though well-meaning (and also an important injection of optimism and hope!), people’s wider networks are sometimes unaware of the challenges that returning reserve soldiers face.

Beyond Their Words: Understanding the Real Question

Peter Drucker wisely stated, "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." This article delves into that profound truth, illustrating how discerning unspoken messages can transform our interactions. We explore the critical skill of understanding the true questions behind the words, from veiled pleas for help to the silent cries hidden in seemingly innocuous inquiries. Discover why truly effective communication requires listening not just to what is spoken, but to the deeper needs and concerns that remain unsaid.

Exodus and Anxiety

Slavery, while terrible, represented a secure existence. By that, I mean that life was consistent, unchanging, certain. A slave will never achieve great things or recognition on a greater societal level, but he/she will also rarely encounter doubt and anxiety.

Lesson from a Construction Site: Don't Dismiss the Scaffolding in Your Relationships

Marriages, like buildings, sometimes need scaffolding - temporary, unglamorous interventions - that provide the platform needed to repair damage and build a strong, lasting structure.

Resilience Series Part 4

Adversities can tint our lenses dark, giving us a gloomy, hopeless outlook. We may struggle to see a way out and feel powerless. Fortunately, you can take off those dark lenses and adopt a brighter outlook. You can find meaning and purpose even in the face of adversities and visualize a brighter future. You can boost your optimism, have a more positive view of everything, and notice things and people you are grateful for. Moreover, you can find humor in daily life and find shared humanity with others, which may strengthen your joy and compassion. By improving your outlook, you can feel more powerful to ward off whatever life throws at you.

Unmasking Manipulation: Understanding DARVO and Reclaiming Your Reality

Many of us encounter manipulation, but understanding its forms is key to navigating relationships healthily. This post delves into various manipulative tactics, with a special focus on the insidious DARVO strategy. Discover how recognizing these behaviors empowers you and learn about the path toward healing from their impact.

My Journey Through Chronic Pain: A Personal and Professional Story of Healing

Physical pain in the body that is produced by our brain is identical, whether there is an actual structural injury in the body or whether the brain mistakenly believes there is a structural injury in the body. To offer an analogy, a smoke alarm that sounds because it is broken makes the exact loud and very real noise as a smoke alarm that sounds because there is smoke from an actual fire. 

On Becoming a Personal Scientist: Beginnings

As the baby gains enough safety and security via his attachment systems with the significant people in his life, he is able to identify and then befriend the familiar within the strange.

Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You – Part THREE

Worry! Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You
Part Three
Strategies to Help you Manage your Worrying
I am glad you are back again to read the final part of my blog Worry! Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You. In part three of my blog I will give you some specific strategies to help you manage your worrying.
Here are some specific strategies and tools that can help you avoid toxic worry. Let’s get to it shall we!
Hallowell’s Strategies of Managing Worry

Hope and Healing: From Warsaw to Jerusalem

It was amazing how the strength of the comradery of the women enabled them to shift their view of themselves and their experience of MRKH from one in which they were hard done by and less of a woman, to feeling special. They were able to explore the possibilities that having MRKH presented to them. They also recognized the hope and possibilities that lay within their situation, on many levels. When the women started the workshop, many were nervous and fidgety. By the end, they were sitting up straight with big smiles on their faces and hope in their eyes.

What I learned was that we can all be hope experts, as we have all experienced life challenges. The more we recognize the challenges that we endured, remove the shame connected to those challenges and celebrate the accomplishments, the better able we can help others feel more hopeful too.

The Wondrous “Black Sheep”: the Truth Teller of a Family

How often have you heard someone describing their family and either talking about a sibling…

Fundamentals of Trauma Recovery, Part 4

Forgive yourself for not having foreseen, protected, or responded more effectively during the trauma.

Seen, Heard, Felt: Why AI Falls Short in the Therapy Room

Thinking of using an AI app for mental health? It might offer tips, but it can't replace a therapist. AI lacks intuition, can't read the room, and doesn't understand complex human nuance like a trained professional does. Learn why the human connection is still essential for navigating your mental well-being effectively.

The Hidden Layers: A Therapist's Guide to Understanding Trauma

Just like an onion, trauma has many layers. What you see on the surface is rarely the full story, and true healing often begins when we start peeling back the "how," "who," "where," "when," and "why" behind the "what." This article explores the powerful onion metaphor in understanding trauma, revealing how a deeper look can lead to profound transformation. Discover why exploring every layer is essential for both clinicians and those on their healing journey.

Encopresis: A Four-Pronged Treatment Approach

Encopresis, more commonly called “soiling” or fecal incontinence, refers to the involuntary passage of feces. Typically, this condition results from chronic constipation, but it can also be triggered by emotional issues. Encopresis, which has a 9% occurrence rate worldwide, is not considered to be a medical condition until a child is 4 years old. While encopresis is often very distressing to both the child and the family, it is treatable. The earlier treatment begins, the better the outcome. In my years of private practice as an art therapist, I have successfully treated many children with encopresis using the following four-pronged treatment approach.

Adult ADHD

Success for adults with ADHD often stems from identifying and building on their strengths, while not over-focusing on their weaknesses. Discovering one particular talent or specialized area of accomplishment is critical for adults (and children) with ADHD. The earlier in life that individuals with ADHD identify their strengths, the greater the likelihood that they will succeed as adults in their chosen academic or occupational fields of interest.

On Becoming a Personal Scientist: Living in the half-full glass

The half-full glass is the antidote to the half-empty one.

Can You FIX her?

The short answer? You cannot "fix" your wife. But you don't need to. You need something else a whole lot better...