I have been rejected more times than I can count. By friends, boys, jobs, my kids, you name it… One of my most memorable rejections happened while in 6th grade. My English teacher encouraged us to write a journal, which I kept "hidden" in my desk. In it, I wrote all about a crush I had on a boy named Joey, a fellow classmate. I forgot that in the morning we sat at one desk and in the afternoon another. A fellow classmate found my journal and proceeded to read that very entry aloud to the entire class during recess.
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When we choose to marry, we often don't know everything. There are often things that are missing. After all, we haven’t seen how our partner behaves in a variety of circumstances, many of which they haven’t yet encountered. But more importantly we don’t always know ourselves. So we search for things to worry about in our partner in hopes of having some level of control. Not wanting to come to terms with the fact that we can't control the other. However, there is one element of control, and this lies within ourselves.
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The search for meaning is a powerful force that enables us to endure, adapt, and grow through life’s transitions, adversities, and crises. While I have been coaching individuals since 2004, it was only in recent years that I fully grasped how foundational meaning is in navigating change. Viktor Frankl’s insights on logotherapy reinforced what I had long sensed—meaning is not just a coping mechanism but a driving force for resilience and transformation. Whether recovering from trauma, loss, or uncertainty, those who actively seek meaning emerge stronger, with newfound clarity and direction, proving that even in the most challenging times, life holds purpose and possibility.
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When we hear the term “Separation Anxiety,” we often think of young children off to pre-school, crying because they don’t want their parents to leave. But Separation Anxiety can come any time your child leaves the nest — especially at college age. And it’s not just limited to the child — parents can also experience Separation Anxiety when their child leaves them.
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Worry! Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You
Part Three
Strategies to Help you Manage your Worrying
I am glad you are back again to read the final part of my blog Worry! Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You. In part three of my blog I will give you some specific strategies to help you manage your worrying.
Here are some specific strategies and tools that can help you avoid toxic worry. Let’s get to it shall we!
Hallowell’s Strategies of Managing Worry
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Physical pain in the body that is produced by our brain is identical, whether there is an actual structural injury in the body or whether the brain mistakenly believes there is a structural injury in the body. To offer an analogy, a smoke alarm that sounds because it is broken makes the exact loud and very real noise as a smoke alarm that sounds because there is smoke from an actual fire.
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How mindfulness-based practices help you navigate overwhelm and pain, and come home to yourself.
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Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were just 10 do it yourself fix it solutions…
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My goal, after you finish reading this blog is that you will get a more comprehensive understanding of toxic worry and the tools to help you manage it better. Managing your worrying in a healthier way will allow you to free yourself, increase your energy level and give you a greater ability to love yourself and others. Worry only inhibits the expression of love.
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Sometimes the question sits on the back burner like low-simmering stew that has all but been forgotten. An innocent question may ignite a fire in a chilly room and we are off in a new direction. Or sometimes it buzzes around like a nasty mosquito.
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When beginning a new job if you are constantly worried about failing and feeling like you need to prove yourself at every turn that can cause significant stress which will most likely hinder performance. Rather than engendering positive relationships and being open to learning, the fear of someone discovering shortcomings will be so pervasive that it will be very difficult to acclimate to the new position effectively. On the other hand, a growth mindset which encourages you to learn from others, think about mistakes as essential to the process of learning and acclimating and being open to a new way of doing things will lead you to have more joy and energy, feel less anxious, and make a good impression on your colleagues.
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Over the last few decades, many children and adolescents have been receiving a diagnosis of ADHD at alarming rates. ADHD, which is typically understood as a brain or nervous system disorder which tends to be genetic in nature, is often identified when a child shows symptoms of inattention, distractibility, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. What unfortunately often gets missed with a diagnosis of ADHD, however, is the possibility that traumatic events may be the source of these symptoms.
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The short answer? You cannot "fix" your wife. But you don't need to. You need something else a whole lot better...
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As we approach the holiday season and celebrations are upon us we can feel very…
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We’re in isolation, and isolation has brought us together.
Many couples think that they just need to be able to find an agreement, a compromise, a solution to their disagreements. And that couples' therapy is about solving their disagreements. In fact, for many years this is how couples' therapists approached therapy as well. Unfortunately, this approach failed and statistically, their success rates were very low. But the field of couples therapy research has changed dramatically. In the last 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Leslie Greenberg, and Dr. Sue Johnson, to name a few major names have made real breakthroughs, having studied many thousands of couples, watching them closely in action, on live cameras, video, behind one-way glasses and otherwise. One of Gottman's findings is that about 70% of our disagreements as couples, never get solved! And this is true not only for failing couples but for the very successful couples as well! So, if solving problems is not what leads to success, what does? The answer is that as a therapist, I can help them reach such an emotional bond that makes the issue of solving problems redundant, a non-issue. Once they have this bond, they will not necessarily need me to solve their problems. Find out more inside.
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Navigating retirement is not only about filling your time or learning new skills. There is value in looking back, at what was, in addition to what’s next. There are relationships with others that will be impacted by retirement, and more than that; there is also the relationship with yourself.
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Those of us granted life have to face the loss of the most profound of all our relationships. The relationship a person has with a parent, affects every stage of our life. Therefore, losing a parent at each stage in life has unique challenges.
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…as we get older, we stop playing. We feel the need to be productive or we feel so tired from our productive lives that we pursue mindless ways to relax and shut down, like watching TV, but watching TV is not playing, and playing is more important than you think.
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People often ask me: how it is possible to celebrate amid deep suffering and life-altering traumatic events that shatter any sense of safety or security and leave us in confusion and the unknown? Dread and Hope, though seemingly contradictory, can coexist in a complex dance that shapes the human experience. Here's how...
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Join us for a restorative, cutting-edge conference that blends clinical education with embodied self-care, honoring your role as a healer and equipping you with tools for deeper, more effective therapeutic work.
This international conference invites clinicians to deepen their understanding of the mind-body connection and reconnect with themselves through embodied workshops in a peaceful oceanside setting.
