Three Ways That Differentiation- Based Couples Therapy Changed My Life

By: Melanie Landau

The more that my sense of self is reflected to me by others the more I make myself vulnerable to be manipulated and gaslit. If I want to be loved, liked, appreciated by the other person more than I listen to myself then I set myself up for trouble.

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Vulnerability Just Ahead

By: Nancy Schwartz

Is feeling vulnerable a good thing?   Many of us see it as a sign of weakness, as we’re not being good enough!!  We’re afraid of not being seen by others as the “perfect” mother/father, spouse, child, worker, etc.   

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Resilience Series Part 2

By: Esther Adams Aharony

The ups and downs of life are associated with a rainbow variety of emotions; some are dark, and some are light. The intensity of these emotions can vary as well. Some of us have dense and opaque emotions when our emotional reactions are high. This increased emotional reactivity can tint everything the same shade or reduce our ability to see beyond these emotions, which may further reduce our ability to cope with adversities. The good news is that we can use a few strategies to keep our emotional reactivity in check, such as grounding ourselves, cultivating somatic skills, and engaging in some mindful physical exercises.

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Can Adolescents Act Abusively?

By: Aviva Zahavi-Asa

Parents are often reluctant to admit that their teenager is acting in ways which are abusive due to their own feelings of guilt, shame or a sense of failure. In some of these cases, the adolescent was exposed to domestic violence or experienced abuse within the family at an earlier age and then repeats familiar family patterns at a later stage. In other cases, however, no history of abuse exists within the family.

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Why Staying Together for the Kids Isn’t Doing Anyone Any Favours

By: Micki Lavin-Pell

Micki Lavin-Pell, is a marriage and family therapist of 15+ years, married to Gaby Pell for nearly 18 years +4 kids.   She specializes in helping couples navigate challenges at different stages of their lives and deal with attachment issues that often plague relationships using Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. She co-hosts a podcast featured on www.Jewishcoffeehouse.com, called Real Relationships and can be found on her website www.mickilavinpell.co.il

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How to Create a Sense of Normalcy at Home While Navigating the New Normal

By: Karen Burgman

Covid brings with it feelings of anxiety, stress and uncertainty. Though children deal with emotions in different ways, your child has been faced with school closures, cancelled events or separation from friends, they are going to need to feel loved and supported now more than ever.

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Unmasking Manipulation: Understanding DARVO and Reclaiming Your Reality

By: Yisroel Picker

Many of us encounter manipulation, but understanding its forms is key to navigating relationships healthily. This post delves into various manipulative tactics, with a special focus on the insidious DARVO strategy. Discover how recognizing these behaviors empowers you and learn about the path toward healing from their impact.

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Can You Commit to Love Without All the Facts?

By: Micki Lavin-Pell

When we choose to marry, we often don't know everything. There are often things that are missing. After all, we haven’t seen how our partner behaves in a variety of circumstances, many of which they haven’t yet encountered. But more importantly we don’t always know ourselves. So we search for things to worry about in our partner in hopes of having some level of control. Not wanting to come to terms with the fact that we can't control the other. However, there is one element of control, and this lies within ourselves.

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Making the First Call: A Guide to Choosing the Right Therapist for You

By: Yisroel Picker

Deciding to seek therapy is a courageous first step, but the initial phone call to a potential therapist can feel daunting. This guide is designed to empower you during that crucial conversation, moving beyond logistics to help you find the right fit. Discover the key questions that reveal a therapist's experience, approach, and, most importantly, their ability to create a safe and trusting connection with you.

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Resilience Series Part 1

By: Esther Adams Aharony

Life is full of good moments, but it isn’t always a smooth ride. There are many ups and downs, such as love and loss, success and struggle, happiness and heartbreak, and joy and trauma. Furthermore, none of us have a road map or a chapter index for our life journeys. Through the next 5 blogs, I will offer a step-by-step science-based approach to help you boost your resilience.

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On Today's Menu: Corona Sandwich

By: Jeanne Lankin

I am overwhelmed with guilt as I can’t be with my parents on a daily basis to help them navigate this challenging time in their lives. At the same time, I also feel guilty that I can’t help my kids while they struggle in raising their children and I can’t be there to help babysit or just spend time with them. I miss my grandchildren and virtual visits just aren’t doing it for me or them anymore.”

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What Makes Us Miss Relationship Red Flags?

By: Micki Lavin-Pell

Have you come out of a relationship recently where you feel like banging your head against a wall because yet again you’ve dated someone who turned out to be a bad apple? So you go into this mantra of telling yourself there must be no good people to date, because everyone you go out with ends badly.
Your dating pattern may look something like this. You meet someone, they make you feel really good in the beginning, they treat you nicely, take you to nice places and show you a good time. Then slowly they show less interest in you. Maybe they distance themselves from you, start saying things that are hurtful, or seem to care less about your opinion?

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Finding Home Within

By: Naomi Zauderer

Moving to a new country can feel overwhelming, but settling in is about more than just checking off tasks—it’s about finding a sense of home within yourself. This post explores the emotional side of acclimating to life in Israel, offering reflections on embracing uncertainty, building small rituals, and trusting yourself through the transition. Whether you're struggling with daily frustrations or seeking a deeper sense of belonging, this guide offers a compassionate perspective on navigating change.

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Challenges and Advise for People in Self-Quarantine

By: Linda Avitan

Self-quarantine is a situation that can be very stressful and challenging on many levels to oneself and one's relationships. This post examines the areas which may be challenging in an attempt to legitimize those difficulties. I offer the opportunity to reach out and seek ONLINE help in order to get through this trying period in a positive way.

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The Hidden Layers: A Therapist's Guide to Understanding Trauma

By: Yisroel Picker

Just like an onion, trauma has many layers. What you see on the surface is rarely the full story, and true healing often begins when we start peeling back the "how," "who," "where," "when," and "why" behind the "what." This article explores the powerful onion metaphor in understanding trauma, revealing how a deeper look can lead to profound transformation. Discover why exploring every layer is essential for both clinicians and those on their healing journey.

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The CYCLE: The Key to Rebuilding Your Marriage

By: Daniel Fund

Something was comin' there way and it was no good... Shira and David find themselves in a vicious cycle that they are both trapped in for years. They fall back to their default coping styles which continue failing them. In fact, we all fall back to these coping styles...

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The Wondrous “Black Sheep”: the Truth Teller of a Family

By: Keren Burgman

How often have you heard someone describing their family and either talking about a sibling…

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Chewbacca Visits: The Power of a Dream

By: Robin B. Zeiger

Dreams bring images and messages from the depths of our soul. It is our psyche’s way of compensating for our conscious life, which is only one-half of our life-story. Our dream life brings a richness and ebb and flow to our daily existence. Likewise when we are in touch with our unconscious, there is a flow to our daily existence much like the ebb and flow of the waves of the sea. Our unconscious helps bring us light and creativity and vitality.

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40 Years of Research: Why Solving Your Marital Disputes is Not the Solution

By: Daniel Fund

Many couples think that they just need to be able to find an agreement, a compromise, a solution to their disagreements. And that couples' therapy is about solving their disagreements. In fact, for many years this is how couples' therapists approached therapy as well. Unfortunately, this approach failed and statistically, their success rates were very low. But the field of couples therapy research has changed dramatically. In the last 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Leslie Greenberg, and Dr. Sue Johnson, to name a few major names have made real breakthroughs, having studied many thousands of couples, watching them closely in action, on live cameras, video, behind one-way glasses and otherwise. One of Gottman's findings is that about 70% of our disagreements as couples, never get solved! And this is true not only for failing couples but for the very successful couples as well! So, if solving problems is not what leads to success, what does? The answer is that as a therapist, I can help them reach such an emotional bond that makes the issue of solving problems redundant, a non-issue. Once they have this bond, they will not necessarily need me to solve their problems. Find out more inside.

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On Becoming a Personal Scientist: Beginnings

By: Ruth Shidlo

As the baby gains enough safety and security via his attachment systems with the significant people in his life, he is able to identify and then befriend the familiar within the strange.

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