Hope and Healing: From Warsaw to Jerusalem

It was amazing how the strength of the comradery of the women enabled them to shift their view of themselves and their experience of MRKH from one in which they were hard done by and less of a woman, to feeling special. They were able to explore the possibilities that having MRKH presented to them. They also recognized the hope and possibilities that lay within their situation, on many levels. When the women started the workshop, many were nervous and fidgety. By the end, they were sitting up straight with big smiles on their faces and hope in their eyes.

What I learned was that we can all be hope experts, as we have all experienced life challenges. The more we recognize the challenges that we endured, remove the shame connected to those challenges and celebrate the accomplishments, the better able we can help others feel more hopeful too.

What is Somatic Experiencing (SE) ?

As a body-mind practitioner and clinical psychologist, I have found that incorporating principles of Somatic Experiencing (SE) into my practice has provided me with a whole new way of helping people move on with their lives when stressed, anxious, depressed, traumatized, or otherwise in pain (including living with chronic pain). So what then, is Somatic Experiencing, and how does it work?

Survivorship Bias: Missing Planes and Missing Data

Survivorship bias is like the WWII military only looking at bullet holes in planes that returned, while ignoring the ones that crashed. In the same way, we copy the 'hustle' of famous billionaires and think it’s a blueprint, forgetting the thousands of people who did the exact same thing and failed. If you only look at the survivors, you’re missing the full picture of the risks you’re actually taking. To truly survive, you have to stop obsessing over the winners and start looking at the planes that never made it home.

Why Staying Together for the Kids Isn’t Doing Anyone Any Favours

Micki Lavin-Pell, is a marriage and family therapist of 15+ years, married to Gaby Pell for nearly 18 years +4 kids.   She specializes in helping couples navigate challenges at different stages of their lives and deal with attachment issues that often plague relationships using Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. She co-hosts a podcast featured on www.Jewishcoffeehouse.com, called Real Relationships and can be found on her website www.mickilavinpell.co.il

Simmering Soup: On the Importance of Asking Questions

Sometimes the question sits on the back burner like low-simmering stew that has all but been forgotten. An innocent question may ignite a fire in a chilly room and we are off in a new direction. Or sometimes it buzzes around like a nasty mosquito.

The Art of Communicating Honestly and Responsibly (Part 1 of Winter Series 5786)

Expressing feelings in marriage is essential, but it must be done honestly and responsibly to strengthen rather than damage your relationship.

Beyond Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder: Understanding The Spectrum of Disordered Eating Behaviours

I feel frustrated when people dismiss lesser well-known disordered eating behaviours. My experience has led me to very confidently believe, that no one ends up in these sort of patterns, without there being something else going on, something that feels as if it requires some sort of distraction from, or total obliteration of. These things need healing. If they aren’t, they persist and the behaviours (coping mechanisms) developed to deal with them become harder to shift out of, thus limiting a person’s life ever more destructively. 

Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You – Part One

My goal, after you finish reading this blog is that you will get a more comprehensive understanding of toxic worry and the tools to help you manage it better. Managing your worrying in a healthier way will allow you to free yourself, increase your energy level and give you a greater ability to love yourself and others. Worry only inhibits the expression of love.

From Good Intentions to Real Connection (Part 3 of Winter Series 5786)

When couples find themselves trapped in conflict despite good intentions, the path forward begins within.

Can You Commit to Love Without All the Facts?

When we choose to marry, we often don't know everything. There are often things that are missing. After all, we haven’t seen how our partner behaves in a variety of circumstances, many of which they haven’t yet encountered. But more importantly we don’t always know ourselves. So we search for things to worry about in our partner in hopes of having some level of control. Not wanting to come to terms with the fact that we can't control the other. However, there is one element of control, and this lies within ourselves.

Imagination Makes Sense

We are sensory beings, and one of the earliest abilities that we acquire is imagination. Imagination allows us to form mental images of things not currently sensed, simulate possible future scenarios, create novel ideas, and engage in symbolic thinking.

My Unorthodox life: Exploring Differences of Opinion in Couplehood

When I work with couples through dealing with differences, whether it be religious or any other practice or want, I help the couple explore their deeper feelings around their differences of opinion and differences of practice. Couples deal with all kinds of differences. Some examples are issues around health and fitness, what kinds of food enters the home, what kinds of media are allowed, how to use finances, what dress represents members of the home, places to hang out and where not to go, how much time to spend together, what to do with the time they spend together, where to go on vacation, to name but a few.

Fundamentals of Trauma Recovery, Part 7

Finding meaning, creating purpose, and gaining control is a recipe that results in greater resilience and fuller recovery.

Fundamentals of Trauma Recovery, Part 8/8

By tackling pieces of your recovery to tackle that are ever-so-small, you ensure your success; this will build greater self-confidence and foundations for each further success.

Seen, Heard, Felt: Why AI Falls Short in the Therapy Room

Thinking of using an AI app for mental health? It might offer tips, but it can't replace a therapist. AI lacks intuition, can't read the room, and doesn't understand complex human nuance like a trained professional does. Learn why the human connection is still essential for navigating your mental well-being effectively.

Vulnerability Just Ahead

Is feeling vulnerable a good thing?   Many of us see it as a sign of weakness, as we’re not being good enough!!  We’re afraid of not being seen by others as the “perfect” mother/father, spouse, child, worker, etc.   

Can Adolescents Act Abusively?

Parents are often reluctant to admit that their teenager is acting in ways which are abusive due to their own feelings of guilt, shame or a sense of failure. In some of these cases, the adolescent was exposed to domestic violence or experienced abuse within the family at an earlier age and then repeats familiar family patterns at a later stage. In other cases, however, no history of abuse exists within the family.

Opening the Emotion Valve: Challenges and Strategies

Emotional growth is hard-won, but with the right approach, it is within anyone's reach.

Managing Custody During Corona

The Corona crisis is challenging and stressful on many levels. This is particularly true in families already challenged by divorce and managing custody. My blog addresses basic points of reference around children's needs and challenges around going back and forth between parents and advise to parents on how to best navigate. I offer some "do's and don'ts" for promoting successful communication as well as advise on juggling your life when the children are with you. I invite you to contact me for help, advise or even just venting! Everyone needs someone, now more than ever.

Finding Home Within

Moving to a new country can feel overwhelming, but settling in is about more than just checking off tasks—it’s about finding a sense of home within yourself. This post explores the emotional side of acclimating to life in Israel, offering reflections on embracing uncertainty, building small rituals, and trusting yourself through the transition. Whether you're struggling with daily frustrations or seeking a deeper sense of belonging, this guide offers a compassionate perspective on navigating change.