The Interplay of Dread AND Hope: Holding and Navigating Contrasting Emotions in Cultivating Resilience

People often ask me: how it is possible to celebrate amid deep suffering and life-altering traumatic events that shatter any sense of safety or security and leave us in confusion and the unknown?  Dread and Hope, though seemingly contradictory, can coexist in a complex dance that shapes the human experience.  Here's how...

On Becoming a Personal Scientist: Beginnings

As the baby gains enough safety and security via his attachment systems with the significant people in his life, he is able to identify and then befriend the familiar within the strange.

Dying at a Distance: Grief During Covid

Humans are incredibly resilient. I am constantly in awe of the people that I speak to, in my role as a bereavement therapist, who are creating amended rituals to help them cope with their painful losses. There is no correct answer to our predicament. It feels unfair to be deprived of the comfort of our traditions that help guide and heal mourners. However, we can try to creatively engage in meaningful adaptations of our rituals during this crisis to help us process our grief.

Facing Our Fears

Facing Our Fears

40 Years of Research: Why Solving Your Marital Disputes is Not the Solution

Many couples think that they just need to be able to find an agreement, a compromise, a solution to their disagreements. And that couples' therapy is about solving their disagreements. In fact, for many years this is how couples' therapists approached therapy as well. Unfortunately, this approach failed and statistically, their success rates were very low. But the field of couples therapy research has changed dramatically. In the last 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Leslie Greenberg, and Dr. Sue Johnson, to name a few major names have made real breakthroughs, having studied many thousands of couples, watching them closely in action, on live cameras, video, behind one-way glasses and otherwise. One of Gottman's findings is that about 70% of our disagreements as couples, never get solved! And this is true not only for failing couples but for the very successful couples as well! So, if solving problems is not what leads to success, what does? The answer is that as a therapist, I can help them reach such an emotional bond that makes the issue of solving problems redundant, a non-issue. Once they have this bond, they will not necessarily need me to solve their problems. Find out more inside.

Unmasking Manipulation: Understanding DARVO and Reclaiming Your Reality

Many of us encounter manipulation, but understanding its forms is key to navigating relationships healthily. This post delves into various manipulative tactics, with a special focus on the insidious DARVO strategy. Discover how recognizing these behaviors empowers you and learn about the path toward healing from their impact.

Life Skills Taught By Horses

In this insightful blog, we explore the transformative role of equine therapy in children's lives. Horses, far more than majestic creatures, are exceptional teachers, imparting essential life skills to young learners. We delve into how these animals mirror emotions, instill responsibility, and empower children, teaching them about trust, respect, and self-efficacy. This narrative goes beyond riding, highlighting how caring for horses shapes a child's character and resilience, revealing the profound impact of this unique human-animal bond in nurturing confident, empathetic, and responsible individuals.

How to Track Anxiety and Help Resolve It

We need our ‘signal’ anxiety, because otherwise, we’d be more vulnerable to danger.

Making the First Call: A Guide to Choosing the Right Therapist for You

Deciding to seek therapy is a courageous first step, but the initial phone call to a potential therapist can feel daunting. This guide is designed to empower you during that crucial conversation, moving beyond logistics to help you find the right fit. Discover the key questions that reveal a therapist's experience, approach, and, most importantly, their ability to create a safe and trusting connection with you.

Why Invest in Your Relationship Skills Before You Even Find Love?

No one wants to live with a feeling that disaster can strike at any time….

Hope and Healing: From Warsaw to Jerusalem

It was amazing how the strength of the comradery of the women enabled them to shift their view of themselves and their experience of MRKH from one in which they were hard done by and less of a woman, to feeling special. They were able to explore the possibilities that having MRKH presented to them. They also recognized the hope and possibilities that lay within their situation, on many levels. When the women started the workshop, many were nervous and fidgety. By the end, they were sitting up straight with big smiles on their faces and hope in their eyes.

What I learned was that we can all be hope experts, as we have all experienced life challenges. The more we recognize the challenges that we endured, remove the shame connected to those challenges and celebrate the accomplishments, the better able we can help others feel more hopeful too.

Israel Wartime Anxiety: 3 Emotion-Focused Therapy Tips

The more we turn towards the pain and express unmet needs, and not avoid them, the less anxious we will be.

Managing Custody During Corona

The Corona crisis is challenging and stressful on many levels. This is particularly true in families already challenged by divorce and managing custody. My blog addresses basic points of reference around children's needs and challenges around going back and forth between parents and advise to parents on how to best navigate. I offer some "do's and don'ts" for promoting successful communication as well as advise on juggling your life when the children are with you. I invite you to contact me for help, advise or even just venting! Everyone needs someone, now more than ever.

Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You – Part One

My goal, after you finish reading this blog is that you will get a more comprehensive understanding of toxic worry and the tools to help you manage it better. Managing your worrying in a healthier way will allow you to free yourself, increase your energy level and give you a greater ability to love yourself and others. Worry only inhibits the expression of love.

Embracing Your Fear

Eight years ago when I was diagnosed with Lyme disease I had a deep-seated fear of never walking again; that I would never be able to take long aimless walks like the days before.

Resilience Series Part 2

The ups and downs of life are associated with a rainbow variety of emotions; some are dark, and some are light. The intensity of these emotions can vary as well. Some of us have dense and opaque emotions when our emotional reactions are high. This increased emotional reactivity can tint everything the same shade or reduce our ability to see beyond these emotions, which may further reduce our ability to cope with adversities. The good news is that we can use a few strategies to keep our emotional reactivity in check, such as grounding ourselves, cultivating somatic skills, and engaging in some mindful physical exercises.

Re-Frame Rejection so You Can Successfully Move Forward in Relationships

I have been rejected more times than I can count. By friends, boys, jobs, my kids, you name it… One of my most memorable rejections happened while in 6th grade. My English teacher encouraged us to write a journal, which I kept "hidden" in my desk. In it, I wrote all about a crush I had on a boy named Joey, a fellow classmate. I forgot that in the morning we sat at one desk and in the afternoon another. A fellow classmate found my journal and proceeded to read that very entry aloud to the entire class during recess.

How to Choose the Right Therapist

Choosing the right therapist may feel overwhelming. Here are some tips to help guide you.

Mindfulness in Therapy: More Than Just Breathing

How mindfulness-based practices help you navigate overwhelm and pain, and come home to yourself.

Adult ADHD

Success for adults with ADHD often stems from identifying and building on their strengths, while not over-focusing on their weaknesses. Discovering one particular talent or specialized area of accomplishment is critical for adults (and children) with ADHD. The earlier in life that individuals with ADHD identify their strengths, the greater the likelihood that they will succeed as adults in their chosen academic or occupational fields of interest.