Back To School With ADHD

Advice to parents who face particular challenges around back-to-school among children with ADHD. Suggestions are offered in the context of common challenges such as difficulties with lack of routine, learning new habits and impulsivity. I invite parents to consult with me to examine ways to understand what's behind certain behaviors and build strategies, smoothing the way for better coping.

Am I Depressed or Just Sad?

Growing up, I remember people saying, “I’m so depressed.” What made them so depressed? Various…

10 Ways to Improve a Marriage

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were just 10 do it yourself fix it solutions…

Lesson from a Construction Site: Don't Dismiss the Scaffolding in Your Relationships

Marriages, like buildings, sometimes need scaffolding - temporary, unglamorous interventions - that provide the platform needed to repair damage and build a strong, lasting structure.

Why Staying Together for the Kids Isn’t Doing Anyone Any Favours

Micki Lavin-Pell, is a marriage and family therapist of 15+ years, married to Gaby Pell for nearly 18 years +4 kids.   She specializes in helping couples navigate challenges at different stages of their lives and deal with attachment issues that often plague relationships using Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. She co-hosts a podcast featured on www.Jewishcoffeehouse.com, called Real Relationships and can be found on her website www.mickilavinpell.co.il

PERFECTIONISM is the Enemy of FREEDOM

It's getting close to Pesach and I'm thinking: what do I want to focus on at my seder table with my adolescent children who can now carry intelligent conversations and think about things in a deeper and more complex way? Afterall, our exodus from Egypt is not just a historical event and with kids, the way to facilitate spiritual connection is through relatable modern-day experiences. The obvious answer would be to focus on what each of us finds ourselves enslaved to in our lives and how we can access our personal freedom, but we've been down that road before and it hadn't hit home the way I'd want a good juicy introspective theme to do. So, I came up with IMPERFECTION

Healing the Inner Garden: A Journey of Creation, Connection, and Inner Peace

Explore a path to healing that unites therapeutic insights and Jewish wisdom. This article bridges Internal Family Systems, mindful awareness, and timeless spiritual teachings, offering readers a journey toward self-discovery, purpose, and inner peace.

Finding Home Within

Moving to a new country can feel overwhelming, but settling in is about more than just checking off tasks—it’s about finding a sense of home within yourself. This post explores the emotional side of acclimating to life in Israel, offering reflections on embracing uncertainty, building small rituals, and trusting yourself through the transition. Whether you're struggling with daily frustrations or seeking a deeper sense of belonging, this guide offers a compassionate perspective on navigating change.

Adult ADHD

Success for adults with ADHD often stems from identifying and building on their strengths, while not over-focusing on their weaknesses. Discovering one particular talent or specialized area of accomplishment is critical for adults (and children) with ADHD. The earlier in life that individuals with ADHD identify their strengths, the greater the likelihood that they will succeed as adults in their chosen academic or occupational fields of interest.

4 Ways NOT to Apologize to Your Spouse

Couples occupy the same spaces, literally and figuratively, and it’s inevitable that they will clash or disappoint each other from time to time. When that happens, an apology is a major part of making amends. Here are some of the most common mistakes made when apologizing.

Valuable Tips to Manage Pain

Given what we know today, it appears likely that unresolved trauma, whether minor or major, plays a role in the persistence of chronic pain, through mechanisms of kindling (a self-perpetuating phenomenon of neural excitation) and priming (in which the brain readies itself to respond a certain way), that cause us to continually brace ourselves against the threat that caused the pain or the internal threat of pain itself. This is great news, because it means that to the extent that the trauma is worked through at the body/mind level, the pain should either disappear or lessen.

Bagruyot Testing Accommodations for Olim

The primary focus here will be on accommodations for the Israeli Bagruyot. Providing accommodations at the Elementary school level is usually at the discretion of the school based upon psycho-educational testing. The Elementary school is not obligated in any way to provide the recommended accommodations and likewise can decide to allow them without a specific recommendation. There is no regulatory body regarding testing accommodations at the Elementary level.

Fundamentals of Trauma Recovery, Part 6

In building muscle, you will literally build your container to bear it all. When your container is fortified, recovery will be easier.

Managing Custody During Corona

The Corona crisis is challenging and stressful on many levels. This is particularly true in families already challenged by divorce and managing custody. My blog addresses basic points of reference around children's needs and challenges around going back and forth between parents and advise to parents on how to best navigate. I offer some "do's and don'ts" for promoting successful communication as well as advise on juggling your life when the children are with you. I invite you to contact me for help, advise or even just venting! Everyone needs someone, now more than ever.

Beyond Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder: Understanding The Spectrum of Disordered Eating Behaviours

I feel frustrated when people dismiss lesser well-known disordered eating behaviours. My experience has led me to very confidently believe, that no one ends up in these sort of patterns, without there being something else going on, something that feels as if it requires some sort of distraction from, or total obliteration of. These things need healing. If they aren’t, they persist and the behaviours (coping mechanisms) developed to deal with them become harder to shift out of, thus limiting a person’s life ever more destructively. 

Caring for the Caregiver

As a clinical social worker and therapist for over 30 years and having myself been a caregiver for over 10 years, I have observed that caregiver stress is the single most underreported source of stress for people ranging from 45 until their 80’s.  While caregiving can also be a source of blessing and provide the feeling that you are doing the “right thing” for your elderly loved ones, it is tinged with a multitude of other emotions.  To your friends and family, you may not want to openly express these emotions and feelings. A trained therapist, an expert in these matters, is needed.  

Grief for the Loss of our Parents

Those of us granted life have to face the loss of the most profound of all our relationships. The relationship a person has with a parent, affects every stage of our life. Therefore, losing a parent at each stage in life has unique challenges.

Vulnerability Just Ahead

Is feeling vulnerable a good thing?   Many of us see it as a sign of weakness, as we’re not being good enough!!  We’re afraid of not being seen by others as the “perfect” mother/father, spouse, child, worker, etc.   

Hope and Healing: From Warsaw to Jerusalem

It was amazing how the strength of the comradery of the women enabled them to shift their view of themselves and their experience of MRKH from one in which they were hard done by and less of a woman, to feeling special. They were able to explore the possibilities that having MRKH presented to them. They also recognized the hope and possibilities that lay within their situation, on many levels. When the women started the workshop, many were nervous and fidgety. By the end, they were sitting up straight with big smiles on their faces and hope in their eyes.

What I learned was that we can all be hope experts, as we have all experienced life challenges. The more we recognize the challenges that we endured, remove the shame connected to those challenges and celebrate the accomplishments, the better able we can help others feel more hopeful too.

Isolation Has Brought Us Together

We’re in isolation, and isolation has brought us together.