I was telling a friend recently about some mucky feelings I was having around a challenging situation. I told her that I thought if I just focus on what is good, then it will inspire me to get out of this rut. But my plan wasn't working. My friend simply said, "Just be where you are. And be with what is, without trying to fix, judge or solve it." I hung up the phone and felt like a large weight had been lifted. I was given permission to just be.
I tell my clients this all the time. I tell them it's ok to feel what they are feeling and to be right where they are. Maybe it's easier said than done! Who wants to sit down and feel pain, sadness, loneliness or whatever feeling is presenting itself at the moment? I certainly didn't. I can attest that sometimes it seems easier to run anywhere else than be with my own feelings. But what a relief it is to just sit down and be.
Feeling our feelings is what helps us feel better and be more present in our lives. From this place of presence we become more clear and more equipped to handle what comes our way. As John Gray said, "What you feel you can heal." Many times in circumstances that feel challenging to us, it's less about the outside circumstance and more about our inner experience. And when we pay attention to what is going on inside of us, the circumstance tends to change or our perspective on it changes.
My friend said, "Feelings are our guides and teachers". When we follow the feeling all the way through and let go, miracles happen. Such as presence, clarity, gratitude, acceptance and basking in the richness of life.
We are now in Kislev, a time of great light, and also the darkest month. "A little light dispels a lot of darkness", said the Alter Rebbe. When we sit with what is and feel our feelings, we are bringing presence and thus bringing light. When you light a candle to see the darkness better, the darkness disappears. When we are able to just be with whatever we are feeling and experiencing, without judgement or an agenda we bring light to the situation automatically with our energy, inborn emuna and bright souls. And in turn we might even feel lighter. Imagine what we can do for others by just being with them!
Sometimes we need others to help us hold our experience and to help us make space to hold it ourselves. To shine light for us so we can see our own light and ability to be with what is. And if we all shine a little more presence in our own lives and in the lives of others we might just light up the world.