Imagination Makes Sense

We are sensory beings, and one of the earliest abilities that we acquire is imagination. Imagination allows us to form mental images of things not currently sensed, simulate possible future scenarios, create novel ideas, and engage in symbolic thinking.

Intergenerational Trauma in Times of Crisis: Echoes of the Holocaust in the Present

Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of trauma responses from one generation to future generations including patterns of coping and survival strategies. In the case of children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors, trauma may have been communicated not only through shared or unspoken stories but through the emotional messages communicated in the home including generalized fear, silence, secrecy, overprotection, familial dysfunction and vigilance.

Dying at a Distance: Grief During Covid

Humans are incredibly resilient. I am constantly in awe of the people that I speak to, in my role as a bereavement therapist, who are creating amended rituals to help them cope with their painful losses. There is no correct answer to our predicament. It feels unfair to be deprived of the comfort of our traditions that help guide and heal mourners. However, we can try to creatively engage in meaningful adaptations of our rituals during this crisis to help us process our grief.

Can Adolescents Act Abusively?

Parents are often reluctant to admit that their teenager is acting in ways which are abusive due to their own feelings of guilt, shame or a sense of failure. In some of these cases, the adolescent was exposed to domestic violence or experienced abuse within the family at an earlier age and then repeats familiar family patterns at a later stage. In other cases, however, no history of abuse exists within the family.

The Wondrous “Black Sheep”: the Truth Teller of a Family

How often have you heard someone describing their family and either talking about a sibling…

Fundamentals of Trauma Recovery, Part 6

In building muscle, you will literally build your container to bear it all. When your container is fortified, recovery will be easier.

The Fight or Flight Response: When Anxiety is Your Friend

Who's Afraid of Retirement?

Navigating retirement is not only about filling your time or learning new skills. There is value in looking back, at what was, in addition to what’s next. There are relationships with others that will be impacted by retirement, and more than that; there is also the relationship with yourself.

Taking a U Turn From Thought: A Mindful Pathway Out of Trance

“Who is your enemy?” said the Buddha. “Mind is your enemy. Not one can harm you more than a mind untrained. Who is your friend? No one can assist you and care for you better than your mind well-trained. Not even the most loving mother or father.”

Resilience Series Part 4

Adversities can tint our lenses dark, giving us a gloomy, hopeless outlook. We may struggle to see a way out and feel powerless. Fortunately, you can take off those dark lenses and adopt a brighter outlook. You can find meaning and purpose even in the face of adversities and visualize a brighter future. You can boost your optimism, have a more positive view of everything, and notice things and people you are grateful for. Moreover, you can find humor in daily life and find shared humanity with others, which may strengthen your joy and compassion. By improving your outlook, you can feel more powerful to ward off whatever life throws at you.

What Makes Us Miss Relationship Red Flags?

Have you come out of a relationship recently where you feel like banging your head against a wall because yet again you’ve dated someone who turned out to be a bad apple? So you go into this mantra of telling yourself there must be no good people to date, because everyone you go out with ends badly.
Your dating pattern may look something like this. You meet someone, they make you feel really good in the beginning, they treat you nicely, take you to nice places and show you a good time. Then slowly they show less interest in you. Maybe they distance themselves from you, start saying things that are hurtful, or seem to care less about your opinion?

In Relationship with Mental Illness

If your spouse suffers from a mental health issue or addiction, there are some concrete steps you can take to improve your life. These are the first pieces of building your relationship.

New Job Jitters

When beginning a new job if you are constantly worried about failing and feeling like you need to prove yourself at every turn that can cause significant stress which will most likely hinder performance.  Rather than engendering positive relationships and being open to learning, the fear of someone discovering shortcomings will be so pervasive that it will be very difficult to acclimate to the new position effectively.  On the other hand, a growth mindset which encourages you to learn from others, think about mistakes as essential to the process of learning and acclimating and being open to a new way of doing things will lead you to have more joy and energy, feel less anxious,  and make a good impression on your colleagues.

The CYCLE: The Key to Rebuilding Your Marriage

Something was comin' there way and it was no good... Shira and David find themselves in a vicious cycle that they are both trapped in for years. They fall back to their default coping styles which continue failing them. In fact, we all fall back to these coping styles...

Am I Depressed or Just Sad?

Growing up, I remember people saying, “I’m so depressed.” What made them so depressed? Various…

Caregiving in the Time of Quarantine

How can we as caregivers of elderly relatives, whether they are local or across the world, navigate the realities of this pandemic? How do we adjust to this “new normal” in our lives with responsibilities as adult children to our elderly loved ones? How can we cope with the inevitable guilt that arises from not being able to fully meet our family’s needs during this time of crisis?

Resilience Series Part 2

The ups and downs of life are associated with a rainbow variety of emotions; some are dark, and some are light. The intensity of these emotions can vary as well. Some of us have dense and opaque emotions when our emotional reactions are high. This increased emotional reactivity can tint everything the same shade or reduce our ability to see beyond these emotions, which may further reduce our ability to cope with adversities. The good news is that we can use a few strategies to keep our emotional reactivity in check, such as grounding ourselves, cultivating somatic skills, and engaging in some mindful physical exercises.

Three Ways That Differentiation- Based Couples Therapy Changed My Life

The more that my sense of self is reflected to me by others the more I make myself vulnerable to be manipulated and gaslit. If I want to be loved, liked, appreciated by the other person more than I listen to myself then I set myself up for trouble.

Feeling Helpless? Here Are 3 Corona (or Anytime) Coping Skills

It can happen at any time or place. But especially now, with the impact of COVID-19 still being felt here in Israel even as things are finally opening up, it's an expected emotion to be feeling. Helplessness. And we are all in it together. Including your therapist. What can you do when you feel like this? Here are 3 powerful skills I know of.

Why Staying Together for the Kids Isn’t Doing Anyone Any Favours

Micki Lavin-Pell, is a marriage and family therapist of 15+ years, married to Gaby Pell for nearly 18 years +4 kids.   She specializes in helping couples navigate challenges at different stages of their lives and deal with attachment issues that often plague relationships using Emotionally Focused Couples therapy. She co-hosts a podcast featured on www.Jewishcoffeehouse.com, called Real Relationships and can be found on her website www.mickilavinpell.co.il