40 Years of Research: Why Solving Your Marital Disputes is Not the Solution

By: Daniel Fund

Many couples think that they just need to be able to find an agreement, a compromise, a solution to their disagreements. And that couples' therapy is about solving their disagreements. In fact, for many years this is how couples' therapists approached therapy as well. Unfortunately, this approach failed and statistically, their success rates were very low. But the field of couples therapy research has changed dramatically. In the last 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Leslie Greenberg, and Dr. Sue Johnson, to name a few major names have made real breakthroughs, having studied many thousands of couples, watching them closely in action, on live cameras, video, behind one-way glasses and otherwise. One of Gottman's findings is that about 70% of our disagreements as couples, never get solved! And this is true not only for failing couples but for the very successful couples as well! So, if solving problems is not what leads to success, what does? The answer is that as a therapist, I can help them reach such an emotional bond that makes the issue of solving problems redundant, a non-issue. Once they have this bond, they will not necessarily need me to solve their problems. Find out more inside.

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Valuable Tips to Manage Pain

By: Ruth Shidlo

Given what we know today, it appears likely that unresolved trauma, whether minor or major, plays a role in the persistence of chronic pain, through mechanisms of kindling (a self-perpetuating phenomenon of neural excitation) and priming (in which the brain readies itself to respond a certain way), that cause us to continually brace ourselves against the threat that caused the pain or the internal threat of pain itself. This is great news, because it means that to the extent that the trauma is worked through at the body/mind level, the pain should either disappear or lessen.

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Exodus and Anxiety

By: Ariel Penkower

Slavery, while terrible, represented a secure existence. By that, I mean that life was consistent, unchanging, certain. A slave will never achieve great things or recognition on a greater societal level, but he/she will also rarely encounter doubt and anxiety.

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Embracing Your Fear

By: Nancy Schwartz

Eight years ago when I was diagnosed with Lyme disease I had a deep-seated fear of never walking again; that I would never be able to take long aimless walks like the days before.

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Beyond Their Words: Understanding the Real Question

By: Yisroel Picker

Peter Drucker wisely stated, "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." This article delves into that profound truth, illustrating how discerning unspoken messages can transform our interactions. We explore the critical skill of understanding the true questions behind the words, from veiled pleas for help to the silent cries hidden in seemingly innocuous inquiries. Discover why truly effective communication requires listening not just to what is spoken, but to the deeper needs and concerns that remain unsaid.

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The CYCLE: The Key to Rebuilding Your Marriage

By: Daniel Fund

Something was comin' there way and it was no good... Shira and David find themselves in a vicious cycle that they are both trapped in for years. They fall back to their default coping styles which continue failing them. In fact, we all fall back to these coping styles...

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Mindfulness in Therapy: More Than Just Breathing

By: Liron Kranzler

 

How mindfulness-based practices help you navigate overwhelm and pain, and come home to yourself.

 

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Healing the Inner Garden: A Journey of Creation, Connection, and Inner Peace

By: יוסף זאב בראווער

Explore a path to healing that unites therapeutic insights and Jewish wisdom. This article bridges Internal Family Systems, mindful awareness, and timeless spiritual teachings, offering readers a journey toward self-discovery, purpose, and inner peace.

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Managing Custody During Corona

By: Linda Avitan

The Corona crisis is challenging and stressful on many levels. This is particularly true in families already challenged by divorce and managing custody. My blog addresses basic points of reference around children's needs and challenges around going back and forth between parents and advise to parents on how to best navigate. I offer some "do's and don'ts" for promoting successful communication as well as advise on juggling your life when the children are with you. I invite you to contact me for help, advise or even just venting! Everyone needs someone, now more than ever.

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Grief, Doom and Resilience in the Wake of a Life-Shattering Event

By: Aviv Teller

 

An exploration of the aftermath of a traumatic event, and the potential for growth as part of surviving it.

 

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Finding Home Within

By: Naomi Zauderer

Moving to a new country can feel overwhelming, but settling in is about more than just checking off tasks—it’s about finding a sense of home within yourself. This post explores the emotional side of acclimating to life in Israel, offering reflections on embracing uncertainty, building small rituals, and trusting yourself through the transition. Whether you're struggling with daily frustrations or seeking a deeper sense of belonging, this guide offers a compassionate perspective on navigating change.

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Can You Commit to Love Without All the Facts?

By: Micki Lavin-Pell

When we choose to marry, we often don't know everything. There are often things that are missing. After all, we haven’t seen how our partner behaves in a variety of circumstances, many of which they haven’t yet encountered. But more importantly we don’t always know ourselves. So we search for things to worry about in our partner in hopes of having some level of control. Not wanting to come to terms with the fact that we can't control the other. However, there is one element of control, and this lies within ourselves.

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On Today's Menu: Corona Sandwich

By: Jeanne Lankin

I am overwhelmed with guilt as I can’t be with my parents on a daily basis to help them navigate this challenging time in their lives. At the same time, I also feel guilty that I can’t help my kids while they struggle in raising their children and I can’t be there to help babysit or just spend time with them. I miss my grandchildren and virtual visits just aren’t doing it for me or them anymore.”

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How to Successfully Stop Eating Nosh

By: Sarah Sacks

When food comands you to eat and you feel compelled to obey, even against your own better judgement, know that there are powerful belief systems working within you. This inner compulsion is coming from your subconscious mind. The good news is, with subconscious reprogramming your conscious mind can become your decisive force.

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